Here’s the rub.
I’ve always had a high metabolism, so throughout my youth I always stayed fairly thin, despite me having a relatively sweet tooth.
I’d take drugs all weekend and then devour packs of biscuits, chocolate bars and various other junk during the week while eating one long continuous meal all day.
Then shortly after my 24th birthday it hit me like a 10 ton iron to the face, and I started to make some health conscious decisions, I took drugs less, ate three meals a day (albeit badly portioned meals) and cut down on my constant daily sugar craving using an increase in cigarettes and hot drinks.
But I was still putting on weight
I joined the gym for a short while and saw some improvements, but that £30 a month really started to be missed when I became unemployed.
And what I noticed was that I would spend almost twice as much on the healthy shop as I would on the normal one. If I wanted my food to taste good, and still be healthy, I’d end up spending £2 on a small pack of tenderstem broccoli and asparagus from Tesco. I started spending upwards of £200 per month on food, not to mention that vegetables had to be purchased every week so they were fresh.
And I’m not in a relationship, yet everything comes in pack of two, and who wants to eat that chicken and mushroom with greens two days in a row?!
Why is it more expensive to be health conscious than to buy cans, jars and ready made and season chicken. Iceland will give you beef bugers and cheese for £1.20 a pack, but to make your own with lean mince, and you looking at £3 for beef mince, a £1 pack of eggs to bind the mix, and then bread for breadcrumbs. Plus, I love to cook from scratch, my Instagram is full of food pics and work pictures. And that’s it.
Luckily in Birmingham it’s free to sign up to the gym, but I’ve still been waiting 2 months to get a gym induction spot, despite knowing how to use the equipment.
This may just sound like a bunch of whiney mid 20’s drama, but when you’re a gay guy, in the age of grindr and superficiality, you’re under constant pressure to be your best or be prepared to get doors slammed in your face. Gay guys don’t fuck about.
And isn’t it indicative of societal flaws, that we’re sold an image of beauty and ‘wellbeing’ that takes every penny of your disposable income to obtain. And then I’m over here feeling like I’m being vain when I wake up and walk past the mirror and think ‘do I look thinner today’ and checking my stomach three times a day and being convinced it gets bigger and smaller at different intervals throughout one 24 hour period.
I didn’t used to give a shit.